Wednesday, March 24, 2010

John Fitch Wants You to Know that He can Finish

On the eve of his biggest test since a defeat against Georges St. Pierre in a UFC Welterweight Title bout, John Fitch has struck back at doubters who have claimed he doesn’t know how to finish.
He didn't even finish buttoning his shirt.
“You know, I’ve heard all the haters,” Fitch said. “I know it’s ‘cool’ now to say how I couldn’t finish my way out of a paper bag, but really, what does that even mean? How can you finish your way out of a paper bag?
“When you think about that, it’s an expression that is really applied to a lot of scenarios where it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. How would you act your way out of a paper bag? It really makes you wonder where the expression came from at all.”
After spending several minutes attempting to deduce the origin of the expression, Fitch turned his attention back to claims that his is unable to finish.
“I’ve been fighting a lot of tough guys, and it’s not easy to finish a tough guy,” Fitch said. “Just because I haven’t been finishing fights lately doesn’t mean I don’t know how to finish.
“Just this morning, I finished a bowl of cereal. Right down to the bottom, so there were only a few mini-wheats left before I threw it out.”
Fitch expressed a newfound dedication to finishing in every facet of life, and offered up several examples of his new finishing abilities.
“I finished The Matrix last night, and I thought it was just an incredible film. I was totally caught off guard by the way they just shoot the main character to death and have the bad dudes win. Awesome twist.”
 Fitch also spoke of the upcoming bout with Alves, at UFC 111 on Saturday, and what his game plan for the bout would be.
“Oh, that’s easy,” Fitch said, “I’m going to take him down and punch him on the mat for fifteen minutes.”

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